We have been told over and over again that if you want a successful marriage, then you’ve got to find the right person for you.
For example, we have the soul mate proponents telling us that there is that one perfect match just for you—all you have to do is find them—or attract them—apparently by sending out the right love vibes.
Does this strike anyone (besides me) as a bit unrealistic—that with billions of people on the face of the earth, we are going to bump into that one perfect match—the soul mate—and that once we do (serendipitously) bump into this perfect match, we are going to know this person as our soul mate when it happens?
And then we wonder why the rate of successful marriages is so low…
If this is what someone believes, what’s going to happen when there are some emerging struggles and difficulties in their marriage [please note—that is WHEN, not IF]?
With this type of belief, there really is no reasonable way to think (when the struggles and difficulties begin to happen in the marriage) except to conclude that this person that I married must not be that one right person for me.
And we have lots of people from failed marriages telling us that their marriage did not work out because they hadn’t found the right person for them.
And then we have a myriad of dating services telling us that they will help you find your perfect match—someone who matches your interests, your needs, your personality traits, your likes and dislikes.
Does this strike anyone (besides me) as a bit narcissistic—as if matching MY interests, MY needs, MY personality traits, MY likes and dislikes is what really matters if MY marriage is going to work?
The truth is, successful marriages depend more upon being the right person than they do on finding the right person.
Who is ever going to be able to be a soul mate with a jerk (or a jerkette)? Or a liar? A cheat? A manipulator? An Abuser?
Soul mates are made, not found.
The next time you meet a genuinely nice, good-hearted man or woman, choose to give them a little extra time, attention, and consideration.
Those we love have a unique power to influence how we feel about life and about ourselves, and genuinely nice, good-hearted people are much more apt to exercise that power for the better.
In the hands of a genuinely nice, good-hearted person, we are much more likely to feel good about life and about ourselves.
Soul mates are made, not found.
And the chances of becoming soul mates are much better when you love a genuinely nice, good-hearted person.
For example, we have the soul mate proponents telling us that there is that one perfect match just for you—all you have to do is find them—or attract them—apparently by sending out the right love vibes.
Does this strike anyone (besides me) as a bit unrealistic—that with billions of people on the face of the earth, we are going to bump into that one perfect match—the soul mate—and that once we do (serendipitously) bump into this perfect match, we are going to know this person as our soul mate when it happens?
And then we wonder why the rate of successful marriages is so low…
If this is what someone believes, what’s going to happen when there are some emerging struggles and difficulties in their marriage [please note—that is WHEN, not IF]?
With this type of belief, there really is no reasonable way to think (when the struggles and difficulties begin to happen in the marriage) except to conclude that this person that I married must not be that one right person for me.
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And then we have a myriad of dating services telling us that they will help you find your perfect match—someone who matches your interests, your needs, your personality traits, your likes and dislikes.
Does this strike anyone (besides me) as a bit narcissistic—as if matching MY interests, MY needs, MY personality traits, MY likes and dislikes is what really matters if MY marriage is going to work?
The truth is, successful marriages depend more upon being the right person than they do on finding the right person.
Who is ever going to be able to be a soul mate with a jerk (or a jerkette)? Or a liar? A cheat? A manipulator? An Abuser?
Soul mates are made, not found.
The next time you meet a genuinely nice, good-hearted man or woman, choose to give them a little extra time, attention, and consideration.
Those we love have a unique power to influence how we feel about life and about ourselves, and genuinely nice, good-hearted people are much more apt to exercise that power for the better.
In the hands of a genuinely nice, good-hearted person, we are much more likely to feel good about life and about ourselves.
Soul mates are made, not found.
And the chances of becoming soul mates are much better when you love a genuinely nice, good-hearted person.
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